


She won't pretend once she's gone

by CrazyTaraWitch



Series: SQ ficlets [3]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-25
Updated: 2015-04-25
Packaged: 2018-03-25 17:42:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 575
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3819250
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrazyTaraWitch/pseuds/CrazyTaraWitch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She won't pretend once she's gone. She won't let herself remember. (She won't want to. This isn't what she wants. And leaving is easy.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	She won't pretend once she's gone

It's nearly 3am when Emma zips up her jeans and slips into her boots. She needs to go; needs to run. Regina is just a friend; it hadn't been about feelings. It was only a lonely night between lonely people. Emma needs to get out of there before Regina wakes and confirms that it meant nothing. (Which it did, mean nothing. And the thought of Regina confirming that doesn't hurt. Not at all.)  
  
Emma's on her way out and knows as soon as she's gone she can never look back, can never remember this night and what it didn't--couldn't mean. She can never look back once she's gone. But what's the harm in one more moment that she'll have to forget? What's the harm in one more image that she'll never--never--hold close at night?  
  
She won't pretend once she's gone. She won't let herself remember. (She won't want to. This isn't what she wants. And leaving is easy.) So if she thinks Regina--peaceful and free like this, hair mussed and make up long gone, splayed across half the bed and a small smile curling her lips even in sleep--is the most beautiful thing she's ever seen, what does it hurt? It won't matter once she walks out the door.  
  
(And she is walking. She's leaving. And it's not hard at all.)  
  
A few more seconds staring at the most beautiful sight she'll ever see won't change a thing. (And Emma doesn't want it to. This was just once. Just sex.)  
  
(Just sex that felt like their magic. Just sex that felt as earth-shattering as the moment she kissed Henry and broke a curse. Just sex that felt like  _ **our son**_ and **_happy memories for you and Henry_**  and _**with you, Regina, I always know**_  and **_maybe I need you_**. Just sex that broke down all her walls, just sex that left Regina bare before her. Just sex that felt like the closest she'd been to anyone in her life. Just sex that felt like the most real she's ever been.)  
  
(Just sex. Just sex.)  
  
She's walking and she's staring and none of it matters. It doesn't matter that she's leaving and it wouldn't matter if she stayed. And when the morning comes everything will be the same. Just mothers. Just friends. (As it should be.)  
  
Emma's hand is already on the doorknob when her foot catches on the night stand. She's falling and everything is falling and she thinks the falling has been a long time coming. The lamp crashes and the nightstand thuds and Regina's reading glasses crunch where they land underneath it all. Emma's head thunks into the door and a stream of curses erupts before she can stop herself, before she remembers where she is or that she's sneaking out or that their son is sound asleep two rooms away.  
  
And none of it matters. None of it matters.  
  
None of it matters until Regina is hovering over her, soft eyes filled with concern.  Regina's gaze searches her face intensely and Emma freezes when it hits her that Regina isn't looking for why she was leaving; she's searching for every bump and bruise, fingertips ghosting across her skin as she pushes golden locks aside to ensure Emma is safe and whole.  
  
And then Regina is kissing her forehead to take away the pain and maybe (just maybe) it's the only thing that matters or ever will again.


End file.
